Hi baby boy....mommy cant sleep and i just needed to talk to you....I love you so much Ian...and I am so sorry! You deserve better than this...I hope you are happy and no longer in pain...mommy will take all the pain...i wish i could hold you again and kiss your tiny feet and hands...You are always in my thoughts so much so that i cant think of much else....You are my life baby and i need you!!! I long for the day that i will see you again!!!!